Ernest Hemingway said, “When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”
It sounds simple. The problem is that most people hear but don’t listen, or they listen only to respond. Effective listening is a crucial leadership skill.
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1. Empathy goes a long way.
Team members like leaders who cares about them and empathizes with them. To become a good leader, start viewing your employees in a different light. Refrain from treating people as tools and resources. They are people blessed with extraordinary capabilities and skills. Leaders who care about people, who they are, and what they represent are more inspiring. Care about your team members’ professional and personal well-being. Caring is the first step towards becoming a better listener.
Work brings stress, and everyone deals with it differently. Be mindful of how it impacts the performance of your team. Some people work very well under pressure, while others crumble.
Be expressive, and let your team know that you understand their problems. Expressing sentiment won’t take away your authority as a leader. Empathy is a compelling display of being an active listener. It balances out the head and the heart.
Example : In a recent program an emerging leader shared about how hesitant he was to discuss his religious obligations and needs during Ramzan. He noticed that his leader showed openness to first hear him out. There wasn’t a prayer corner in the office and he needed some extension and adjustment in hours due to his prayers. Not an easy ask where there is no culture of this in the team. Empathy and listening from his leader worked like balm to this anxious person. It allowed some effective problem solving to happen.
2. Be interested.
Employees must know that their leader cares about them to feel secure and valued. Engage yourself in matters important to your employees. If your subordinates share something with you that is bothering them, make sure to follow up.
Listen more, take ownership and accountability, and your team members will feel more connected with you. It matters to them that you pay attention and attempt to understand them. During a discussion, ask questions and encourage them to elaborate on their thoughts.
Example: While coaching one of the leaders, I observed her unique way of connecting with her team. She would prepare one of the team members to lead the meeting every time. She made sure that everyone felt valued and heard. Her leadership style empowered everyone on her team, and they could build on their skills. Her team was grateful for such a compassionate and empowering leader as their boss. She had recognized that some members wanted to grow in their skills for leading meetings. Taking the initiative to coach and mentor them was a positive step in accounting for what matters to them.
3. Mindfulness is important.
As a leader, be mindful of your surroundings. Listening actively lets you pick up verbal and non-verbal cues in the conversation. It is beneficial for your body language to be approachable and welcoming rather than stern. Mindfulness will help you listen, engage, and be more empathetic. When you are in a leadership position, people look up to you. It would help if you led by example.
Here are few ideas to keep focus on mindfulness:
- In meetings are you mindful of long silences and what they mean?
- In team events are you mindful of who is included, who feels left out, and what you can do to be more inclusive?
- Amongst peers are you mindful of undercurrents of competitiveness or game playing? This will help you to be politically astute.
One way to grow mindful is by taking charge of self-care. Download this self-care practices manual for your use. Some simple practices help in becoming more aware and mindful.
4. Let them speak.
It is frustrating when someone interrupts our train of thought while we are expressing something valuable to us! Some leaders cut people short in mid-conversation. To become a fair and compassionate leader, always maintain the flow of dialogue. Embrace two-way communication and understand that disruption causes disengagement. Your team will respect you more if you respect them. Thus, stay focused, stay in the moment, and be respectful.
5. Tell them what you think.
Don’t hold back if the situation requires you to give your subordinate constructive feedback. The member will know that you listened and understood their concern. It helps build trust and camaraderie between you and your team. It never helps to be judgemental. Judgemental leaders expose their immaturity and incapability to embrace differences. It would be best if you strived to be a leader who is learning and adapting to the changes happening in the world.
10 immediate ideas to start you off in better listening are here:
- Focus on the listener and listen with an open mind, even if you don’t necessarily agree with what is being said.
- Listen to understand the other person’s point of view rather than find reasons to disagree or confront.
- Avoid interrupting the speaker until they finish expressing their thoughts.
- Ask questions to clarify your thoughts after listening. Questions also signify your interest in understanding the matter at hand.
- Be inclusive and allow all the team members to express their thoughts and opinions.
- Listen without jumping to conclusions or judging.
- Body language and non-verbal cues aid communication. So it helps the speaker if you maintain eye contact, relaxed posture, and calm facial expressions.
- After listening completely respond in a way that would be supportive. This could include giving feedback, a simple agreement to what was said, or even respectfully disagreeing.
- A centering practice before you embark on having difficult conversations with stakeholders will put you at ease while listening to understand. You could try this centering practice that I use.
- As all skills improve with practice so does listening. Engage in conversations to listen better and become a better listener over a period of time.
Listening to your team members is crucial to your company’s success and you as a leader. Are you ready to begin the effective listening process? Which idea will you adopt first?
